Tuesday, June 26, 2012

26/06/12

One day I'd like to fall in love, and land in hope

I think when you're in a new land, surrounded by new people, cultures, and ways of life, sure you notice the most physical needs; what am I going to eat, where am I going to go number 2, I think I'm going to hurl, but then as your mind lingers away from the kilometers of dirt, mountain, sky, you think about one emotional need.

When am I going to love?

Honestly, what good is being in a new land when nostalgia laces every song, step, sight, suck of breath?

I was in love with Bangladesh, going to the kabob hotels and drinking plain lassis that were now in retrospect suspect for stomach hate. In love with a cat that now I find out to be knocked up. In love with my extended family there, and just being afloat in transition.

But thing about being in love like that, is that in the moment, you'd never know.
Sometimes, you don't know how wonderful the sky is when you're falling head over heels. And while I was waiting for Kenya, I was in purgatory, between my old life as a student and this new after life of mine.

So, I'd like to fall in love, land in hope, and smile along the way, because really, what's the point of being deaf, dumb, and blind?

There's a couple here, retired, and I see the way they carry about, not sure, but not lost either. They have each other, and together (being the key word), they face their new experience after a lifetime of hard work and dedication to their children. It makes me realize how much I want to love as well. Love the life I am in, love the person I am, and love the human condition.

So, though nostalgia makes me think of every kind face I knew beforehand, love and God makes me think of whatever is before me. And I hope to embrace it.

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