Learning to Say No: What It Could Mean to Be A Man

            "Chivalry is dead" is a statement I hear over and over again among the numerous friend circles I've kept in my short life. Often times I hear it in exasperation by my female friends over rude or selfish behavior they've experienced by men in their personal life, though recently I've heard it in anger towards men who hold the door only because the other person was female.

            This blog post is not directed in anyway to the gender not my own, and for that I apologize for the exclusion. The majority of times the female gender is excluded in the worst way, which is why I'm grateful for programs such as Camp GLOW (Girls Lead Our World) within Kenya that help young girls explore their right to self expression, both reproductively and socially. A young woman has and should always have the right to have control over her own body, and often times, the pressures of my gender override that freedom in a terrible and cruel way. Self-esteem, early pregnancies, and HIV infections are blatant indicators not just within Kenya, but throughout the world, in "developing" and "developed" nations alike.

            No, this blog post is dedicated to the question I was asked by my Kenyan friend, a teacher and advocate of young girls, and a topic I will have to teach at the upcoming Camp MAP (Men As Partners) in April.

"What does it mean to be a man"?

Sagalla Youth Officers striking a pose in the bush

            Immediately things that come to mind are stereotypical "being strong, being a leader, never backing down", change that to being a "healthy man", "supporting his wife/lover, being respectful, controlling his 'urges'".

             "Urges", let's get back to that later, but I want you to think about the themes. Often times, in defining what it means to be a man, we define it in relation to others, to our friends, to our peers, to our family, to women, to our lovers. There's a reason for this, because men are often the perpetrators on violence towards women and men, we define them by how they act. Now onto "urges":

            You're in a bar with friends, and your friends are drinking heavily, they tell you to take a shot of whiskey with them. You say no, knowing that you don't enjoy being heavily intoxicated, they tell you to "be a man" and drink with them...you say yes, and say yes again and again.

            You become so intoxicated you're not really moving right, there's a woman in the table across the room, your friends tell you to "go for it" even though you've not only never met her, but you can't even quite see her clearly. You don't think twice, because why shouldn't you? You're strong, handsome, you work out, you go up to her...and she rejects you coldly, because rightfully, you smell like you've drank too much and the stench is not attractive to her. Your friends are watching you and they make fun of you for striking out, for not being "man enough", not being assertive, confident, cool. You get angry, you try again, the woman turns you down angrily, calling you disgusting for, again rightfully, harassing her.

            You feel alone, isolated, a joke, you get angry, what do you do? You're wrong, you've done badly, you've drank too much, you just want to make the hurt go away. One of your friends keeps on letting you have it, and then you let him have it. You black out and several hours later you come to in a jail, you've just hurt your friend, he's missing teeth, and no one is there for you, what an asshole.

            Where was the manliness in drinking more than you wanted? Hitting on someone you couldn't even see clearly? Disfiguring the face of someone you cared for? Ending up in jail for crime? That situation is real, as men we're told to "go for it", be up for anything, sleep with anyone as long as she's attractive "enough", but these actions are not based on inherent urges that we have to reign in, it's based on actively adhering to a definition not in line with our own. It's a conscious decision, not a gross quality of manhood.

 The youth center was built primary on the volunteer
 labor of the local boys football groups,
 males continue to be the most elusive target audience for the health center

Gender and Development Committee Members Khalil Jarrett
and Max Mann gathering data for an upcoming meeting

        
  Simply, if you let your definition of yourself be defined by others, your actions will not necessarily be your own. In Peace Corps we teach girls to be independent, to take control of their actions, it's extremely necessary to teach boys to do the same in relation not just to society, but to themselves as well.

            It's important not to just admonish them against gender based violence, but discover what the pressures are towards that. How many troubled young men grew up with abuse, absent fathers, or extreme poverty? Those prone to violent and self abusive actions will not stop if you ask them "to stop", because sure enough, someone closer to them has been telling them all their lives "to go".

            On a basic level, I believe most of us as human beings want to be wanted, and be accepted, emotionally and physically. However, the focus on men, in terms of valuable aspects has historically leaned on the latter. I grew up to those being praised for their athleticism, those being popular for their handsome features. I worked out everyday to get those fabled six pack abs just to realize that even afterwards, I wanted someone else to praise them. It wasn't enough to be healthy, I needed someone to validate my body.

The winning football team at the Sagalla Kick Out Malaria Tournament, April 2013.
Who knows what challenges lay ahead for them?

             Growing up, I've been praised less for being emotionally secure, giving and expressive and admonished more to "take it like a man". I've played games where we punch each other on the arm to see who can handle the pain, done push up contests, and participated in sports just to adhere to some form of contest. Even if you are naturally expressive, you quickly let yourself believe (rightly or wrongly) that women favor the "strong" around you, and you learn to emotionally close up. In fact you'll hear men complain that "nice guys finish last" based on their experience that if they are to be wanted by a woman physically, they cannot show levels of openness that would make them "nice", and hence "friend-zoned".

            And there is the problem, again, I am addressing my gender, we aimed at being "nice" with the ultimate goal of being wanted, and we veer on the physical side of sex and courtship as the "prize". Why must the goal be physical pleasure no matter what your personality is like. Why is not attaining friendship just for an emotional connection considered valuable with a female?

    

Sagalla Youth Nicholas Mwavula finally knows his status.
 A star footballer, he's currently making it on his own in Mombasa

       As human beings, being open emotionally, being healthy physically, is not just for the express service of acceptance. Often times, without acceptance of yourself, being wanted becomes more of a dependence than a boon to your personality. Women should not be a "thing" to be obtained, because that skew your priorities in how you view people as well as how you view yourself.

            So what do you do when you're at that bar with your friends who are trying to have a good time?

            This is where the title comes from, learn to say no if you truly don't want to.

Public Health Officer Godrick Mwachofi lost his father at an early age,
 earning his way as a teenager to fund his schooling. 

            Say no to that shot because you don't always enjoy being wasted and losing control. Say no to hitting on a woman you have no real desire for. Say no to the angry impulses inside you because you know you truly don't want to hurt the people you care for.

            Say no when someone tells you to "be a man" because who you are is up to you,  and no one else, including your friends and your family, has the right to define you. You have the right to be selective, you have the right to your body image, you have the right to the pursuit of your passions, you have the right to be you.

            What you don't have a right to is to harm others, including those you love, or strangers, and if you do, the law has the right to prosecute you, and I say this because you have the right to control your life so no one else coerces you into habits or actions you don't want.

Sagalla Super Star Prince Darling right before
performing his music in front of a crowd of hundreds.

            Yes, it's okay to be wanted, but if you cannot find what you want from yourself and specifically from others, is it okay to say yes to those you truly don't care for? If you say yes without a condom to someone you have no intention of being serious with, will you truly be happy in case you contract HIV or an STI? What if the person you were with ends up pregnant, will you be willing to raise a child with the type of love you believe you yourself deserve?

            Because when I ask you, "what does it mean to be a man"? I am daring you to answer back with a vision of the type of man you want to be, I want someone to object to that as "unrealistic" and I want you to prove them wrong. Because you are capable of being who you want to be, regardless of gender definitions, you're capable of saying no to what you don't want, and saying yes to what you truly desire. But you have to know that desire and you have to put yourself in a position to actualize it friend. If you're friends are putting you down, you can say no to their company if it's a detriment, if you are being rejected by the women you like because they would rather date someone else different, you don't have to be that someone else, because it is not a crime to be loved for you. It's not a crime to be successful for being you...and being your own man.

Sagalla Youth Joseph pointing beyond the distance as he just finished his climb of Sagalla's tallest peak, I wonder what he'll learn at the upcoming boy's camp next week?

            It  won't be easy, but finding the road less traveled is never easy, in the end, isn't life worth the muscles we have gained when we get to our destination? Let your own legs take you to where you must go and rely not on the transportation of those who would steer you away.

Peace be upon you,

Tanim Awwal

   March 24th, 2014

May this cute weirdo never change..
.although ironically he's named after Barack Obama

In Defense of Daring to Care

            At any point in time, from the moment I type this and the second you take in reading this, someone, somewhere, is doing a heroic service to the world. More accurately, multiple people are doing multiple good deeds globally, and chances are, several of those people are Peace Corps Volunteers

Volunteers teach young girls about how easily
and invisibly HIV spreads without proper preventative care

            Peace Corps was founded in the 60s midst the Cold War as America's belief that more than wealth, security, and nationalism, that it's core foundation is in spreading a global good will of aiding humanity. John F. Kennedy challenged Americans to give up their comfortable lives for two years and serve those in disadvantaged situations, learn the meaning of hardship, and take up a cause that is just and pure. In juxtaposition of multiple proxy wars, mutually assured destruction with the Soviet Union, and burgeoning materialism resulting from Post-World War 2 hegemony, the Peace Corps represented a living counterpoint to American real politick.

            I say this all now knowing that many will scoff at the near sugary coating I put of my organization, from those who do not know the Peace Corps but hate the concept of foreign aid to those who have served and have experienced extreme hardship, leaving them bitter and disillusioned.  To all of you, I want to talk about something uncomfortable, I want to talk about something that perhaps you are ashamed of feeling as I was a 21 months ago.

            I want to talk to you about idealism, and I want you to let yourself experience it.

            Take a look at the world today, the multiple wars happening among us, take a ponderance at the future ahead of us, environmental conflict not being the only crisis to likely worry about. We have a lifetime of tragedy before us, and unless you're in a position where you are being oppressed, there is something you can do about it.

            What was the difference between the generation that first joined the Peace Corps and now? Perhaps unlike growing up directly after two World Wars, we grew up after two Gulf Wars. We've grown up in a Post-Vietnam era where we actively know that the government is not necessarily always fighting against an enemy we can all rally against. Perhaps as result of seeing that developing countries post-colonialization are still developing afterwards even with the establishment of the World Bank, US AID, and the IMF, there is question of the effectiveness of altruistic reasons. Perhaps even more, having articles labeling inexperienced privileged do-gooders as "voluntourists" that focus, rather on constructive criticisms, to scrap the idea of interpersonal interaction all together, have led us to wonder if we are doing more harm than good.

            But I can tell you, the world has gotten better due to your desire to love, and not only does it desire it, you need it too.

I certainly have, I'll miss this view

Malaria rates have drastically reduced as a result of
the Mass Bed Net Distribution in Sagalla

 Malaria rates have drastically reduced within Africa due to the Global Fund, the President's Malaria Initiative, and Stomp Out Malaria, among many other partners. At my site alone, a mass bed net distribution in 2012 has reduced malaria rates by over 60% in less than a year. Every year, Peace Corps Kenya volunteer trains hundreds of youth to realize that they can make their own healthy decisions when it comes to preventing HIV, STIs, and unwanted pregnancy. Next month, for the first time in Kenya, PEPFAR is organizing with  Peace Corps to teach a Men As Partners camp, focusing on training young men about domestic violence, substance abuse, and healthy gender relations. This is work done by normal Americans, funded by normal Americans. You are making a difference, and you will continue to the make a difference.

The Youth Center has been an epicenter for youth engagement in Sagalla

            Idealism is a victim of the very enemies it is trying to defeat, which is indifference and oppression. Of the two,  the latter cannot be defeated immediately and perhaps because of the amount of time taken to combat it, the former breeds.

            Indeed, I am here to tell you to be idealistic, and be willing to live with it. Because being idealistic is difficult, it involves having to deal with challenges, failure, and the burden of having to humble and ultimately change 

yourself. Peace Corps is not just about helping people, it's also about letting other people help and change your perception. Idealism will break you, make you question your values, and ultimately put you at the cliff ready to fall down into yourself, but as you peer down, I want you to realize how far you have climbed because you believed you can.

The partnership between Host Country Nationals and Peace Corps Volunteers breeds a fusion of ideas and energy to make a difference, such as the restoration of this dam.

One of the proudest days of my life

            I want you to join Peace Corps, I want you to help people, more importantly, I want you to believe that it's possible to make a difference. Because it is, if I could, why can't you if you desired to. I will choose to believe in you, and will be continue to attempt to be an example for those after me to follow.

Peace be upon you,

Tanim Awwal

March 20th, 2014

This post is dedicated to the thousands of Volunteers who have served in world, from JICA, VSO, and Peace Corps in particular. This post is also dedicated to the thousands more I hope will choose to volunteer in the future, for them, I wish you courage, leadership, integrity, grace, and Zen in your development.

Advice I'd give to my son, nephew, or a younger man years from now

Being 23, on your own, as a growing adult male is a battle of self deception.
As I grew up, I forgot the point where I was me

and trying to make sure I was who I was supposed to be. In the clouds until I was 12, I faced a very stark fear that I was supposed to be something more and I'm grateful to have both my father and brother as examples of what to look for.
Now I've lived in Kenya for a year on my own; and have seen a set of gender norms placed and realize that while being a man is fluid, the idea of a man often is not in society. Often, the darker perceptions are perpetuated by my own gender and it's a shame. Misogyny, male to male violence, homophobia, these are things you may have to face in its many forms among the men around you as a man, but they don't have to be your truths.
I won't be young forever; I won't be forgiven for the mistakes I keep on making, but I hope to be redeemed by the realizations I've started actuating.




Everything on the internet seems to last forever; and I want this to last for when I become an influence on young men years from now, they'll know I thought of this when I was their age. And when you read this; you know that I write this because I love you and that right now, I realize it's okay to love myself and the person I want to be. Note, a lot of this is based on relationships because I'm at the point where I am learning what makes me comfortable when it comes to be being with others, something I believe you at this age have also started wondering for yourself. Also, I'm going to post pictures of good men in my life who remind me of what it is to be a man in the 21st century. Finally, when I first wrote this, I realized I only wrote from a heterosexual perspective, and I want you to know, though I write in terms of your partner as she, it's only because my experiences are stemming from the opposite sex. I pray to God that the present you are living in sees no distinction in you based on who you love. Because, I love you for you, and will always do so.

And then you can truly value others like Godrick Mwachofi
Public Health Officer of Sagalla

1. Value yourself: No, don't take a look in the mirror and see how large your biceps are or the white of your teeth, value your character. Value that you're a person worth talking to, and worth making your own choices. Most importantly, you're allowed to say no. You don't have to be an alpha and be fearless to all stimuli. You don't have to say yes to the idea that you need to sleep around to prove your worth. Ultimately, say no to the things you don't see making you the person you want to be, so that you may have room to say yes to the opportunities you want.



2. Value women for their hearts and dreams over their bodies. Yes, there will be a pressure to objectify, but what really comes out of that? What will you gain for enjoying the moment if you can't connect on a different level. Will your pursuit of the now have the depth and meaning you really want? Everyone wants to be loved, but will you love yourself, or let yourself feel loved, if you do not try to do the same? I've found, that once I stopped looking for the momentary comfort, once I learned to say no, I was able to appreciate the women in my life further. Value women as you value men, for their insight, for their ability to accept your trust, for how they make you grow, and I guarantee you will find what you're looking for in the long run.

Masaki is one of the most independent and free people I know

3. Know that no one can give you what you want (nor can you find it outside your own heart): Dating someone to complete you leads to disappointment. Dating someone you can appreciate for her own values rather than what she can offer you is more rewarding and open to growth. Many people will make you comfortable, but very few people will challenge you to become the type of person you want to be. Emphasis on the "you". Only when you make the decision to actively make yourself happy will you ever feel right with someone else.

It's not just about talking either
Right Andrew?

4. Communication: Being mature individually is different than having relationship maturity. I can't stress this enough, being in a relationship, whether it's a friendship or more, involves good communication, a willingness to give and take, as well as figuring out your limits. Giving yourself away completely without valuing yourself does not make you the ideal man, and definitely not the opposite neither. Without established ways of conflict resolution, two great people will fail. Talking, appreciating, and respecting goes a long way. Remember this when you choose your friends in college, because you'll want to be with the people who make you passionate, but if you can't figure out what you are looking for then be careful of the burn out. It's painful, romantic or not.

5 Sex ultimately brings forth the idea of making children, and it's a beautiful thing. It's not just messy fluids. Ultimately, it's a gift you can choose to offer or not. It's not just something to do. That being said, it's okay to have sex, but think whether you are able enough to appreciate the possible result. And even if you can't actually make children, by physical limitations, appreciate the real symbol of what you are doing. Because again I stress this, value yourself, whoever you choose to be intimate with, are they really the person you're willing to be with in the long run? If not, remember that your choices are yours, and they can be wonderful as long as you remember what you have to offer is wonderful. If my son is reading this; know that this fact influenced my eventual growth into who I am now, and that I wanted to be in a position where I can value you with the right partner. I started saying no here in Kenya, and I found that it made me a stronger man, because by saying no to sex, I said yes to love.

6. Take time to please her. It's not about getting off. Loving someone really is about learning to give. Invest in giving

7. If you're only looking for the short term, ask yourself why? Will it develop you into the man you want to be or give you excuses for excess because ultimately...

Senegal, September 2013

8. Be you're heroic self: Remember your childhood? Be the type of man you always imagined you would. Be a knight in shining armor, a ninja in the shadows, a cowboy riding to the West. Slay the countless enemies of your heart, and live, live to see the fruits of your labor. Because this is your life and why shouldn't you strive to be emotionally brave, intelligent, strong and downright larger than life? For that, I will always support and love you in your endeavors.

Machakos, August 2013

Remember, don't let anyone else tell you who you are. Because you're just not a man you are...as I'll show through my dear friend Adam Lin, a Peace Corps Volunteer who was a school teacher in the South Coast of Kenya. Like Adam, you too can be

An Artist

A Brother

A Role Model

And of course, a BAD ASS

 Remember, I love you, remember that a lot of the things I do are because I am starting to value myself, and just as importantly, want to become the man that you can rely on. A real example in a world where the only men you see on screens are athletes, rappers, and actors, all of which are just images in a confusing moving picture. Though I can only give you images of what I was, here are more examples of men that I am grateful in knowing, and that give me the strength to continue being the man I want to be. Peace be upon you.

Love always,

Tanim

November, 2013

Sean Berry, the first person I was comfortable with
in the Hills of Taita

Dave McCoy, who taught me
"Everyone is a teacher"

Haithem Hammad, taught me what it meant to be
an Artlessly True Muslim.

Graham Salinger, PCV Ukraine, my best friend in DC
Taught me friendship is limitless in the face of love

Maxwell Guen: My friend for life

Scott Berman: A man who helped me learn to care, and
care to learn

Dan Pennington: When I came back to the US this year, he drove to see me, I am honored to be valued by him

TK, I value him utmost for his character and honesty. Once you meet people like him, strive to never let them go.

Why We Choose Love: A PCV's reflection on September 11 from Ukraine

Dear All,

I wanted to post an essay written by my friend and fellow Peace Corps Volunteer serving in Ukraine, Graham Salinger, about his reflection in his many travels and why he chooses to love in the wake of September 11th.

I also want to dedicate this post to the late Ambassador Chris Stevens, an RPCV who served in Morocco who gave his life in the service of love of country a year ago.

I also want to dedicate this post to the late Ambassador Chris Stevens, an RPCV who served in Morocco who gave his life in the service of love of country a year ago.

A PCV’S REFLECTION ON SEPTEMBER 11^TH.

The opinions expressed in this email do not reflect that of the Peace Corps of the United States Government.

            One of the most important things that I have learned in my life is the difference between fighting with something and fighting for something. While there may be a thin line between the two, it is clear that fighting for something is a labor of love. For us The Peace Corps is an act of love, for we must love to commit ourselves to such service. Today, more so than others, provokes us to think about love of country, not just love of our country, but the concept in its entirety.  For me love of country is something that I have been thinking about more thoughtfully as I have travelled to other countries.

            My first eye opening traveling experience came when I travelled to Colombia to research trade policy. There I met workers fighting for their rights, it was at those meetings that I first saw armed gunmen and realized that these weapons of war were all too common in the life of everyday Colombians. Later on I met with families who had had family members murdered by paramilitary groups. As they told their stories I saw that they sought more than justice and answers.  Behind their grief was a deep love of country; a love that made them continue to advocate for a more peaceful country despite threats of violence to their family.

            In a similar trip that I went on in Israel and the Occupied Territories I went to refugee camps, helped rebuild a Palestinian families’ home after it had been torn down for the third time, and helped Palestinian students with a USAID sponsored environmental project. What I did in Palestine is less important than why I did it, who I met and what I learned. I took this journey for deeply personal reasons.  My dad started practicing Judaism when I was a teenager  because my Jewish grandmother got Alzheimer’s and he needed something to connect himself with her. He was trying to reclaim what he was slowly losing. My father knows deeply the meaning of family and how to love. As someone who came to Judaism in my teen years I was attracted to its themes of love, justice and working to make the world a better place, but I was also angry about the actions that Israel had been doing in its name. I went to Israel/ Palestine because I wanted to love my religion. I wanted to fight for it, not with it. For me, that meant supporting Palestinians. When I went there I saw people who, under horrible conditions, just wanted the most basic things that we take for granted; water, schooling, housing and the right to be treated like humans. I saw little hate, blame or bitterness.

            Countries that face incredible challenges also face incredible choices, choices about how to respond and how those responses will change the country, both in terms of history and in terms of identity.  They must choose between using love as the starting point or some less clearly defined starting point. Of course, all of us know this. Twelve years ago today violence came to us.  It shook our families, our hearts and our country. Our generation is burdened with living in a post September 11^th world and all its implications. One central question that we face is how we come to understand patriotism. There is blind love and there is the kind of love that I have discussed. By joining the Peace Corps, by deciding to serve and by working on issues that impact sustainable nation building, we have made our choice clear. WE CHOSE TO LOVE BECAUSE IT IS HARD, CONFUSING AND SOMETIMES SCARY. It is that kind of love of country, of family and perhaps most importantly of strangers, that pays off the most. It is that kind of love that will not only make America great again, but will make the world a better place. It is that kind of love that we strive for, because when we look in the eyes of the people we serve we see people who love and deserve to live in a world that loves them back.  

            Today is a somber day, we were all changed in profound ways twelve years ago.  I know that it may not be fair, but we also are now tasked with changing the world in profound ways. Such change requires love and such love requires faith in each other and ourselves. By serving we exercise that love and faith everyday and are sustained by the love we receive from those we are serving. Today reminds us not just of tragedy, but of the work we are doing and must continue to do, the chapters we are writing in our own love stories. Thank you and may you continue to be a source of strength.

With love,

Graham Salinger.  

A year later, Ambassador Stevens' high school decided to name their library after him.

Other patriots who died a year ago at Libya

Sean Smith: Information management Officer, also served in the military prior

Glen Doherty

Glen Anthony Doherty (c. 1970–September 11, 2012) of Encinitas,^[96] was a native of Winchester, Massachusetts,^[97] and a 1988 graduate of Winchester High School.^[98] Doherty was the second of three children born to Bernard and Barbara Doherty. He trained as a pilot at Embry–Riddle Aeronautical University before moving to Snowbird, Utah for several winters and then joining the United States Navy. Doherty served as a Navy SEAL, responded to the bombing of the USS Cole, had tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, and left the Navy in 2005 as a petty officer, first class.^[99] After leaving the Navy, he worked for a private security company in Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel, Kenya and Libya.^[97] In the month prior to the attack, Doherty as a contractor with the State Department told ABC News in an interview that he personally went into the field in Libya to track down MANPADS, shoulder-fired surface-to-air missiles, and destroy them.^[100]

Doherty was a member of the advisory board of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, an organization that opposes proselytizing by religious groups in the United States military.^[101]Doherty was co-author of the book The 21st Century Sniper.^[101][102]

Doherty's funeral was held at Saint Eulalia's parish in his native Winchester on September 19, 2012.^[103] His celebration of life was held in Encinitas, California the weekend of October 12–14, 2012.^[104][105]

Tyrone S. Woods

Tyrone Snowden Woods (January 15, 1971 – September 12, 2012), of Imperial Beach,^[96] was born in Portland, Oregon.^[106] Woods graduated from Oregon City High School in 1989,^[106] south of Portland, Oregon, and served 20 years of honorable service in the U.S. Navy before joining State Department Diplomatic Security^[107] as a U.S. embassy security personnel,^[88] working under a service contract.^[108] Since 2010, Woods had protected American diplomats in posts from Central America to the Middle East.^[109]

As a Navy SEAL in 2005-06, Woods was awarded the Bronze Star Medal with combat "V" Device for valor in Iraq.^[107][110] He led 12 direct action raids and 10 reconnaissance missions leading to the capture of 34 enemy insurgents in the volatile Al Anbar province.^[107] He served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Middle East and Central America.^[111] He retired as a senior chief petty officer in 2010.^[112][113]

Woods also served with distinction at the Naval Medical Center San Diego as a registered nurse and certified paramedic.^[110] Having settled in Imperial Beach, California, for a year of his retirement he owned The Salty Frog bar there; he is survived by his second wife, Dr. Dorothy Narvaez-Woods, their one child,^[114] and two sons from a previous marriage.^[113] Woods was buried atFort Rosecrans National Cemetery.^[115]

September 11th is for Americans, as Graham has said, a time of reflection and understanding what it means to love our country. For those who died, us honoring their role in building up this world; even amidst the destruction those living with hate bore upon our souls. And for those of us still living; continuing to choose to love. So let's not fight something, someone, let's not fight evil, but fight for good.

Peace and blessings of God be upon you,

Tanim Awwal