The thing about facebook is that, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages so much that it's impossible to get rid of. You can be moody with it and cut yourself off for a bit...but then you remember the cousins across the seas, and more vainly, you wonder if anyone cares to hear from you, and whatever you think is important to post on your status.
I can't return to DC, there are so many wonderful people in DC, but I don't go to school there anymore and I don't think I can separate that in my brain yet.
Which sucks...when I have wonderful people like Sabih who even offer to pay for my ticket, friends who live so far away visiting (Berchem), and wonderful people who care for me more than they should, what am I selling them short for?
The tangible minor things...an open mic night Friday, a few more days with Max, a job application to Stop and Shop because the cashier there is cute and I need some friends here, teaching a stranger guitar on Saturday and free Bangla classes with 5 and 50 year olds on Sunday.
They are minor, but they aren't nostalgic, so okay now, I know I'm stupid for not wanting to return right now, but I want to do this, and I want to just grow up in...that way?
I'm going to the Peace Corps, most probably Africa, and Andrew was right, I need to train myself...and right now I want to just be stronger, harder, more of an adult. And by adult, i mean not hang on to things longer. Just let go in the sense that "I don't owe you anything".
As usual, it's 3 am, so good night
Monday, February 6, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Ibraheem
If the glories of the day
Surpass the treasures of the night
I will keep this last torch lit until my dying breath
To Remember the virtues of the light
If the maiden beauty of the stars
Forgives the harshness of Winter's fright
I will dance and bellow to the dark
Until the moon takes swift flight
I am the frozen dreamer's pulse
To recall the virgin truth
I am the Pilgrim's final convulse
Of God's lasting sooth.
Be.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Awake at night
The light that flows through the window pale
Like frozen flecks of a blizzard gale
Filtered specks of desperate dust
Immortal death like slivered rust
Like frozen flecks of a blizzard gale
Filtered specks of desperate dust
Immortal death like slivered rust
Sunday, January 15, 2012
No longer winter-Haiku
These breaths that you take
Where you close your sleepy eyes
Spring in Winter times
Where you close your sleepy eyes
Spring in Winter times
Monday, January 2, 2012
Lover to a love
Quietly I hear you weep
Right where I am to believe you were to sleep
I'd like to hold you warmly, steady
But I don't think I'm yet quite ready
You smile, you dance, and you sing
For my every special need I know the effort you bring
But right now I know you're crying
What once made us work is slowly and surely dying
Was it the fact that we have no more obstacles blocking our path
No more secrecy, friend, foe to keep us off track?
Without any need to look beyond your company around
Was our intimacy lost when we no longer needed to whisper a sound?
I'm lost now, and I thought all I need was you
But sadly, meekly, I realized that that's no longer true
No matter what you do for me, and what I try to do for you to keep it together
How short it seemed now, to go through what I'd thought we'd never
Quietly I hear you weep
Knowing what comes after your sleep
Feeling that you are the one who wished to keep us steady
But love, I no longer think I'm ready
Right where I am to believe you were to sleep
I'd like to hold you warmly, steady
But I don't think I'm yet quite ready
You smile, you dance, and you sing
For my every special need I know the effort you bring
But right now I know you're crying
What once made us work is slowly and surely dying
Was it the fact that we have no more obstacles blocking our path
No more secrecy, friend, foe to keep us off track?
Without any need to look beyond your company around
Was our intimacy lost when we no longer needed to whisper a sound?
I'm lost now, and I thought all I need was you
But sadly, meekly, I realized that that's no longer true
No matter what you do for me, and what I try to do for you to keep it together
How short it seemed now, to go through what I'd thought we'd never
Quietly I hear you weep
Knowing what comes after your sleep
Feeling that you are the one who wished to keep us steady
But love, I no longer think I'm ready
Forget
Forget the pride you feel when a brother stumbles upon you praying
Forget the glee you receive when others call you a good Muslim.
You are only beginning to understand the Straight Way
When you rise up, it is not the cool water of Heaven that sparkles from your face
It is sweat, that of a man trying to seek His Grace
Only when you bow to the floor towards the direction that all of your brotherhood is unison is humbling themselves onto, at the same time, then you can relax with a smile and say,
I'm praying to my Lord, glory to Him.
Forget the glee you receive when others call you a good Muslim.
You are only beginning to understand the Straight Way
When you rise up, it is not the cool water of Heaven that sparkles from your face
It is sweat, that of a man trying to seek His Grace
Only when you bow to the floor towards the direction that all of your brotherhood is unison is humbling themselves onto, at the same time, then you can relax with a smile and say,
I'm praying to my Lord, glory to Him.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Alcohol Dreams
I'm an alcoholic in my dreams, with each glass removing reality from the seams
It's New Year no? Everyone drinks, everyone forgets the past, it's a new moment.
So time to let go, because if I won't, as I have seen with people close to me, I'll never move on and enjoy things, both old and new.
Peace and blessings of God be upon you all,
Tanim
It's New Year no? Everyone drinks, everyone forgets the past, it's a new moment.
So time to let go, because if I won't, as I have seen with people close to me, I'll never move on and enjoy things, both old and new.
Peace and blessings of God be upon you all,
Tanim
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